My Hero...and My Plan

 
Wow.  Look at that badass, with his pecs and his pull-ups.  Me, six years ago.  I was in the best shape of my life then.  It was hard work, but it was liberating.  I felt alive.  I felt capable.  I felt - dare I say it? - a bit heroic.

I haven't been my own hero in some time now.  I have, in fact, been the male version of the damsel tied to the tracks.  Thing is, if I'm honest about it, I've also been the mustached-and-top-hatted villain who tied me to the tracks.  That's quite a feat.  (It's actually easy until you get to the final wrist.)

Anyway, the hero/victim/villain metaphor is an apt one.  In the meditation program I teach, we refer to it as the Drama Triangle.  Most conventional stories needs a hero, a villain, and victim to fuel the narrative.  For many of us, we are one of those characters.  Some of us are two, or even all three of them.

That's been me.  My own worst enabler, and thus, my own disabler.

I'm weary of nostalgia.  Those photos are ones I go back to often, reminding myself of who I was, wondering if I can get there again.  I do the same with happier moments in my life, wondering if the better days are past, and how I can energize myself to create even better ones for the future.  I'm too busy flipping through the photo albums, when there's a perfectly pristine tool box by my side.  I'm just unwilling to open the box, reacquaint myself with the tools, and commit to using them so I can fill up some more photo albums in the months and years ahead.

I'm sick of me and my bullshit, which is exactly where I should be for change to occur.  I'm tired of accepting adequate as good enough, and compromising out of complacency.

So, here's the plan that I've designed to pull myself back from the abyss and back into the rare air I deserve...

Phase One:  January 1st - April 23rd, 2018 (my 51st birthday)

Current Weight:  212
End of Phase 1:  195

That's roughly a pound a week.  Totally doable with planning and discipline.

Phase Two:  April 24, 2018 - June 24, 2018

Goal Weight:  190
Fitness Level:  Montana Hiking Ready

We leave for vacation in late June, and we'll be hiking through parts of Montana and Wyoming.  I want to be able to enjoy, not just endure, the experience.  I also want to be fit enough to get away from any disconcerting wildlife.

Activities:

Weights at the YMCA (2-3 times per week)
Running. (2-3 times per week)
Yoga. (2-3 times per week)

Nutrition:

*Mostly Vegetarian Diet, focusing on living fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains, and nuts/seeds.
*Reduction of Processed Foods,  Sugar-added foods, and meat/dairy
*No eating after dinner

I am not willing to say "strictly vegetarian" again because then when I slip or make an exception, I feel guilty and fall off the wagon.  It's smarter to say "meals primarily focused on fruits, vegetables, etc" and not beat myself up over the occasional foray into meat, but meat as a main dish needs to be a thing of the past.

Resources:

Exercise:
YMCA
Running shoes/trails/routes
Yoga Mat
GAIA subscription

Nutrition:
Thug Kitchen
Eaternity
Forks Over Knives
Internet
YDFM
Food Documentaries
Engine 2 Diet

Anxiety Reduction:
Home Meditation Shrine
Shambhala Meditation Center
Audiobooks
Exercise

Presence:
Reduction/Elimination of Social Media
Reduction of time spent reading news
Increase in personal connections
Increase in time spent in silence


If I can leverage all these resources to make myself healthier and happier in the weeks and months to come, then I can do it for the years to come.  Then, I really will be my own hero.