January's Curse
I've always found January to be the most challenging of months. It's almost always the greyest month, with fewer peeks of sunshine throughout the days. It's cold, of course. But mostly, it's the month dedicated to renewal, while almost always being my busiest travel month.
Yoga centers offer deals for January, there are cleanses and classes dedicated to starting your year off right. But I'm almost always on the road for half the month or more. I know it sounds like an excuse, but it makes getting traction at the start of the year difficult. I start a new habit, then a few days into it, I'm yanked away for a road trip that upends the routine. I get back home, reengage, then it's off again for a week.
I'm not complaining. Well, maybe I am. I love the work, and welcome it. I just long for the chance to create some momentum. There are alternate possibilities, but for once, the idea that I could take part in a local happening (31 days of yoga, a 7 day cleanse, etc) appeals to me greatly. But the timing never seems to be in my favor.
I have to recognize that this, nonetheless, is another excuse. It's putting the responsibility elsewhere. It's denying my own creative resources in coming up with a plan that allows January to be a jump start for me and then pointing the finger at my job.
My job, one that should technically allow me all kinds of flexibility and freedoms, has been a prime excuse for me for years. I used to carve out time to run almost every day. I took 9am FitWit classes for a stretch. Starting my work day at 10 or 10:30, or breaking up my workday at 3 or 4 was easier then. Or at least I tell myself it was.
I have more work now than I ever have. Clients I don't want to say "no" to, because I value our relationship, because they depend on me as their "go to" writer, and because I don't want to risk becoming their "alternate go-to" writer. So, I overextend myself sometimes. But if I were to ask any one of them if they thought letting my health take a back seat to working longer hours was a good idea, they would laugh. They're all very humane, balanced people. I've tried to weed the workaholics-for-workaholic's-sake people out of my life. I have associates who may put in 60+ hours a week, but they don't see it as their primary reason for existing. At least I don't get that sense.
But I continue to feel pressured to deprive myself of the things I need (meditation, exercise, time to prep a really healthy meal) because "work beckons". Truthfully, if I were to look back at what has changed, I could say that (1) yes, I have more work, (2) yes, I now have to make more $ than I did 15 years ago, but the greatest revelation is (3) I didn't have as many distractions back then. Today, social media and the news circus gobbles up chunks of my day, from the moment I wake up until I finally put my phone down by my bedside. If I could add up all the minutes each day, I could've trained to climb Everest by now. And likely taken a boat there to do so.
What all of this comes down to is self-discipline. Deciding I want a healthy mind and body more than I want the instant gratification of Facebook feeds, the righteous indignation from reading my umpteenth article about Trump, or saying 'yes' to things that don't serve me at the moment.
It always comes back to, as Elizabeth Gilbert said, owning my own bullshit. This is some sort of karmic revenge for me hating Eat. Pray. Love. I just know it.
Yoga centers offer deals for January, there are cleanses and classes dedicated to starting your year off right. But I'm almost always on the road for half the month or more. I know it sounds like an excuse, but it makes getting traction at the start of the year difficult. I start a new habit, then a few days into it, I'm yanked away for a road trip that upends the routine. I get back home, reengage, then it's off again for a week.
I'm not complaining. Well, maybe I am. I love the work, and welcome it. I just long for the chance to create some momentum. There are alternate possibilities, but for once, the idea that I could take part in a local happening (31 days of yoga, a 7 day cleanse, etc) appeals to me greatly. But the timing never seems to be in my favor.
I have to recognize that this, nonetheless, is another excuse. It's putting the responsibility elsewhere. It's denying my own creative resources in coming up with a plan that allows January to be a jump start for me and then pointing the finger at my job.
My job, one that should technically allow me all kinds of flexibility and freedoms, has been a prime excuse for me for years. I used to carve out time to run almost every day. I took 9am FitWit classes for a stretch. Starting my work day at 10 or 10:30, or breaking up my workday at 3 or 4 was easier then. Or at least I tell myself it was.
I have more work now than I ever have. Clients I don't want to say "no" to, because I value our relationship, because they depend on me as their "go to" writer, and because I don't want to risk becoming their "alternate go-to" writer. So, I overextend myself sometimes. But if I were to ask any one of them if they thought letting my health take a back seat to working longer hours was a good idea, they would laugh. They're all very humane, balanced people. I've tried to weed the workaholics-for-workaholic's-sake people out of my life. I have associates who may put in 60+ hours a week, but they don't see it as their primary reason for existing. At least I don't get that sense.
But I continue to feel pressured to deprive myself of the things I need (meditation, exercise, time to prep a really healthy meal) because "work beckons". Truthfully, if I were to look back at what has changed, I could say that (1) yes, I have more work, (2) yes, I now have to make more $ than I did 15 years ago, but the greatest revelation is (3) I didn't have as many distractions back then. Today, social media and the news circus gobbles up chunks of my day, from the moment I wake up until I finally put my phone down by my bedside. If I could add up all the minutes each day, I could've trained to climb Everest by now. And likely taken a boat there to do so.
What all of this comes down to is self-discipline. Deciding I want a healthy mind and body more than I want the instant gratification of Facebook feeds, the righteous indignation from reading my umpteenth article about Trump, or saying 'yes' to things that don't serve me at the moment.
It always comes back to, as Elizabeth Gilbert said, owning my own bullshit. This is some sort of karmic revenge for me hating Eat. Pray. Love. I just know it.
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